When it’s actually light out past 5pm at the end of the day you can actually see well enough to notice the coconut flakes from the cupcake on the carpet and the dust bunnies in the corner which are actually more like dust dachshunds. 

edfaSpring cleaning is not be taken lightly because once you start sorting through closets, drawers, and the “I don’t know what to do with it so I’ll just put it under the bed” box, you quickly hit the point of no return. You will realize this juncture when your entire apartment is turned upside down and you have to hurdle the stack of self help books to get to the toilet. This is when you lose the will to live and consider a match.

During such a time when I left my house in disgust and tripped over the thigh master, I fled to the movies. “Sunshine Cleaning,” which was supposed to be a distraction actually brought home the larger issues which I’d been subconsciously facing. Who cleans up after our messes? Especially the emotionally toxic ones?

офис обзавежданеThe story follows two young women who are struggling with their identities, one with a young son to care for and another who lives with their not so successful scheming father. Through the help of a one-armed janitorial supply store owner, they discover the lucrative field of crime scene clean up. In the wake of disaster and death, it is their job to clean up the mess. While there is a fair amount of dark humor in their chosen profession there also emerges the pathos of connecting to the lives of those left behind, paralleling their own emotional journey after the death of their mother.

It’s a dirty job and no one wants to do it, describes not only the physical hazards of blood and body fluid but the mental challenge to take in the enormity of loss and find a way to shine a light on it and deal with it instead of hiding it in a closet until it starts to decay and we only remember it by a bad smell.

As the audience we care for these two young women played by Amy Adams and Emily Blunt, and as someone who isn’t exactly in the place I want to be in my own life, can share in the cringe of what it’s like to be around those who seem to have it all when you’re struggling. The film points out that baby showers and unwatched candles are both dangerous in different ways. (The film did cure me of my thoughts of taking a match to my own mess at home.)

Whether or not your door has crime scene tape in front of it, cleaning up your own mess is indeed profound. My pine floors glow, my sink is back to sparkling silver, and the box under the bed has been emptied except for my favorite writing clips. However, that was the easy part.  Now it’s onto the dust dachshunds in my head.

>компютри thanks to Wines By Morrell for hosting our first “Word Of Mouth” evening where writers shared their new work.  Check out the coverage at PlumTV.com and click on The Hamptons.  Drop a line if you’re a writer interested in participating or a viewer who would like to be added to the emailing list. –>

This is going to be a great event.  I’m hosting an evening of the spoken word with Hamptons writers reading personal essays and short stories on the theme “the holidays.”  The event will be Saturday December 1 at 5:30pm at Wines By Morell in Red Horse Plaza, 74 Montauk Highway, East Hampton NY 11937, (631) 324-1230.

Come hear Heather Buchanan, Tom Clavin, Cindi Cook, Timothy Kelley, Randye Lordon, Tony Marr, Leanne Shear, and Tracey Toomey.  We have a great balanced slate to make you laugh, cry, think, and give you a whole new way to look at maraschino cherries.

This will be an ongoing series and we ask anyone interested to RSVP so we can get a count on seats to roncaglio@aol.com.

Also if there are writers who are interested in participating in the future please email me at Heather@hamptonsheather.com. –>

It’s that time of year and the Hamptons International Film Festival is in town from Wednesday October 17 through Sunday October 21st.  This is your chance to see great films from all over the world and talk with the filmmakers and stars who are here to present them.  Tickets are available online at www.HamptonsFilmFest.org and also at the Box Office which is in the Design Within Reach showroom at 30 Park Place in the Newtown Lane Parking Lot.  One important note is that even if it says Sold Out it may not be.  Each film has a number of seats held for pass holders and often those will open up at the last minute.  If you’re dying to see something and you can’t purchase a ticket go early to the theater and stand in the Rush Line where you can buy a ticket with cash if they are available ten minutes before the show.  For this reason if you do have a ticket go early so that you are sure to get a seat.  Keep an eye out for additionally added screenings as well which will be posted in the box office and in front of the theater in East Hampton.

Another important reminder is that it is not the usual theater staff but volunteers for the festival who are running the show so be a bit patient if things don’t run like clockwork.  These people are giving of their time to make it all happen.

Programmers Josh Koury and David Nugent have found some wonderful films.  You can treat this as an education on world culture, politics, and entertainment.  I will give you a few of my favorites.

Spotlight: 

Body of War: Forget TV news with its nameless, faceless statistics on the cost in human lives and injuries of the Iraq War.  This powerful documentary by Ellen Spiro and Phil Donahue chronicles wounded Iraq veteran Tomas Young who speaks out against the war.  He bravely bares it all and has a real leg to stand on even though he can now only sit in a wheelchair.

Golden Starfish Documentary:

This whole section is very strong and diverse. 

Do You Sleep In The Nude: Film critic and star interviewer Rex Reed had a heyday as the bad boy of cinema and this documentary shows how much he was both revered for his writing talent and feared for his wicked tongue.  There is absolute cult classic footage and the film serves as a wonderful reminder of what film journalism was about before it became “canned” and controlled by PR machines.

Gahan Wilson: Born Dead, Still Weird: Local Sag Harbor resident and wonderfully twisted but funny cartoonist Gahan Wilson is the subject of this documentary and doesn’t fail to enlighten and entertain along with intereviews with a few of his famous fans.

I Am An Animal: The Story of Ingrid Newkirk and PETA: Animal lovers and critics of the tactics of PETA alike get an inside glimpse into the founder of this no holds barred organization.

Pool Of Princesses:  Don’t let the subtitles throw you.  This German documentary follows three precocious teenage girls as they navigate sex, drugs, and difficult family lives with both great gusto and fragility.  Infinitely candid.

Resolved: If you’re like me you have a set idea of high school debate, hold your horses because this is a wild ride with more fast talking than possible side effect disclaimers on pharmaceutical drug ads.  Inspiring and thought provoking, this is the Friday Night Lights of the debate world.

Conflict & Resolution

This section should be mandatory for every high school class in the Hamptons as well as anyone who wants to understand the conflict in the world from a very personal standpoint of the people involved.  Far from being force fed, however, these are some of the most riveting films at the festival.  A few highlights follow:

Behind Forgotten Eyes: In World War II there were over 200,000 Korean women forced to work as sex slaves by the Japanese Army.  They are still searching for their dignity and story to be told.

To Die In Jerusalem:  What happens when the mother of a daughter who was killed in a suicide bombing meets the parents of her daughter’s killer?  Wow.

Steal A Pencil For Me:  An unbelievable moving true love story about a man who has both a wife and a girlfriend and they’re all in the same concentration camp in 1943.  The power of love with Ina and Jack against all odds is totally inspiring.

World Cinema:

Wade In The Water:  Two filmmakers Jeremy Nussbaum and Elizabeth Wood travel to a class in New Orleans to teach students documentary filmmaking.  What results is a film from the kids point of view of the post Katrina world with ho holds barred.

Rising Stars Program:

Here is your chance to see the stars of tomorrow as they emerge on the cinema scene.  Lina Todd, who has a real eye for new talent directs the program along with David Nugent.  Check out Hannah Herzsprung in Four Minutes, Jess Weixler in Teeth, Blake Lively in Elvis and Anabelle and Egbert Jan Weeber in Vivere.  You’ll also get the chance to speak to them as well as their directors after their films.  At the festival they will be mentored by Vanessa Redgrave - pretty impressive.  You can also check out the Rising Stars Roundtable a discussion with the actors at the Ross School Saturday at 4:30pm.

Short Film Programs:

Shorts are often the unsung heroes and yet they are the proving ground for the next generation of famous filmmakers.  The shorts program is divided into Gray Matter which are more experimental and Comedy and Golden Star Fish Competition.  Past shorts at the festival have gone on to win the Academy Award so it’s well worth checking out.  There is usually at least one or two stand outs in each section.

WHERE TO MEET PEOPLE AND RUB FAMOUS ELBOWS:

The Huntting Inn Bar is a great gathering place as the hospitality center is located there and many of the particpants have a glass of wine before screenings.  The Maidstone Arms will also be housing many VIPS and their bar and adjunct room with piano will no doubt be a gathering place.  The Laundry restaurant is going to be the scene of many events so their bar and dining room will be the place to be (remember to plan well in advance with reservations).  Rowdy Hall is the quick bite between films favorite spot.

You can purchase a ticket to the Opening Night Party at Gurneys Inn in Montauk and also the Filmmakers Party on Saturday night at the Star Room.  Most of the other parties are private and require a pass or an invitation.

In Sag Harbor, Rebecca Cooper’s The Gallery at 125 Main Street is hosting cocktails Thursday and Friday from 4 - 6pm after the Bay Street conversations and on Saturday from 4 - 6pm will be hosting a Festival Poster Signing with artist Billy Sullivan.

If you want to meet people in the business and learn more be sure to go to the panel discussions and ask questions and introduce yourself to the industry leaders.  These are almost always underattended so be sure to get there and participate.  The filmmakers and stars will also be answering questions at the end of their movie screenings so meet them in person.  There will also be the “green” tent on the lawn of the Ladies Village Improvement Society at 95 Main Street.  The key to approaching someone is to be respectful and brief.  This is the place for an introduction not your life story.  Carry business cards and suggest an email as the next step.

Here is the most important tid bit of information.  Parking.  There is a lot of ticketing in East Hampton and the only all day lot is on Lumber Lane while all the rest are only two hours. –>

You simply cannot let the summer go by without taking advantage of some of the Hamptons hot spots because after all there’s no point if they become Hamptons cold spots. 

I was just at The Beacon restaurant in Sag Harbor and if you don’t go for the fabulous food then you have to go for the view, and I’m not just talking about the waterfront sunsets.  The guys there are young, good looking, and really nice to boot.  Order the portobello mushroom ap. and a pineapple martini and you will be in heaven.

Hot girls are all hoofing it over to Shelter Island to Sunset Beach for a cocktail in the sand and some moules frites.  Tres bien mon amie!  The french flair makes it all that much sexier - think St. Tropez.  The chance to dine en pleine air is a real treat.  You have to bring patience though as the europeans don’t cater to the fast food mentality.  Remember you can also hit there for breakfast after a hike through Mashomack Park on the island and enjoy a cafe au lait and croissant.

For great live music you have to hit East Hampton Point on Sunday at 6pm for live Reggae.  Another waterfront setting filled with everyone who’s come out to get that groovy beat going on.  The locals are all in the know and celebrate god’s day of rest with Winston Irie.

Speaking of music you get the chance to see Nancy Atlas outside at the Montauk Gazebo on Sunday August 26 from 4 - 6 where you can picnic and bring wine and get to see the fabu singer www.nancyatlas.com.  She’ll also be at the Talkhouse over Labor Day weekend.

If it’s a Thursday night on the early side the Wolffer Vineyard in Sagaponack has live music from 5:30 to 7:30 where you can have a glass of wine or sparkling wine and feel like you’re in Tuscany.  If you want to head out later Thursday night try LeFlirt in East Hampton which has great bistro French food and turns into a fun club late (think midnight).

Gardens are totally romantic and you should really take the chance to see the LongHouse Reserve in East Hampton and meander through the acres of gardens and sculptures or visit the Bridge Gardens Trust in Bridgehampton for the lavender parterre and the incredible roses.  These are literally “green” dates.

Looking for a beach that’s never that crowded?  Peter’s Pond Beach in Sagaponack is a real insider spot although you do need a Southampton Town sticker to park there.  Bring a picnic and spend the whole day — it is awesome!  A great deal is lunch to go from the Seafood Shop in Wainscott - lobster rolls hello.  If you don’t have a sticker check into the shuttle which runs from Bridgehampton High School to Sagg Main Beach in Sagaponack.

If you like to kayak head over to the Springs General Store right by Jackson Pollock’s place in East Hampton where you can rent them and grab a chicken salad sandwich to go.  Bring cash.

If you have a favorite spot also let me know!  I still like to learn. –>

Mark your calendars for this Saturday July 14 because it is time to dance at benefits in the Hamptons and these are two of my favorites.  On Saturday from 4 to 8 pm is the Hamptons Tea Dance hosted by the Empire State Pride Agenda.  While this is the see and be seen spot for gay guys and gals it is also the best place to go on a beautiful afternoon and dance and support a good cause.  My ruffles always give me away as the straight girl (Although DJ Lady Bunny usually has me beat by a long shot on not only a sexy outfit but great legs) but the mix of fabu music including my beloved disco and a sea of handsome well dressed men who can dance makes it a must.  Gals also get in on the action and so do the kids as whole families come out to enjoy the afternoon.  It will be at the Diamond Ranch at 600 Mecox Road in Watermill and tickets are $100.  Check out www.prideagenda.org.

Then it’s onto the see and be seen late night party for the young fabulous sophisticated crowd at the Parrish Art Museum Midsummer After 10 Party.  Elligible singles from all over the world fly in for this party which follows the sit down dinner.  The after 10 portion includes drinks, dancing, and dessert for $175.  While you’re there and checking out the eye candy also pick up a brochure for the museum which has not only great art exhibits but fabulous classes and special events.  Get cultured.  The Parrish is at 25 Jobs Lane in Southampton.  Get more info at www.parrishart.org.

Put on your dancing shoes and I’ll see you there!! –>

Have any of you noticed that right around 4th of July couples get in fights or break up?  Is it that he’s just seen all the hottie girls on the beaches in the Hamptons and wants to be free to sample them like some sort of pu pu platter?  Or in the extra heat does her tolerance dip just a bit so that she absolutely can’t stand one more criticism from him?  If you think about it, this holiday has a history based in saying “b–bye.”  America said to England that she could go take a hike this day because this future Starbuck nation didn’t want to drink her stinking high taxed tea anymore.  Our teenaged country wanted to wear short skirts, play with the indians, and stay out late at night without having mama Brittain tell us what to do.  England didn’t understand why we weren’t as cooperative as her other colonial concubines.

The truth of the matter is that each relationship should be judged on its own merits instead of being compared to another or worse, a fantasy of what each partner thinks it can be.  Most of us live in the real world which means that life is a balancing act.  It’s hard to be a woman earning a living and caring for her own life and yet still be some sort of domestic diva for her guy.  To be his housemade/sex goddess she would have to have somehow escaped hormones or the need for sleep.  And in turn men who have impeccable manners and treat women with respect and kindness should not be dumped for Wall Street ass holes in Porches who would sell their grandmother down the river for a buck.  It’s about energy guys and gals and creating a positive understanding vibe where you reach for mutual goals - even if you don’t have abs of steel or a bikini body that stops traffic.  Mostly it’s how your relationship makes you feel inside.  I was walking on the beach this morning feeling kind of blue and saw a seagull with one wing drooping at a bad angle.  When I approached I saw he had not only a bum wing but a bad foot which made him limp.  We looked at one another then up at the sky where another gull soared with effortless ease.   I know, I said to the gull, I’d like to be that bird too. –>

In the midst of all the madness of the Hamptons in the season it’s worthwhile to take time to accentuate the positive and see who and what gets the Hamptons Heather thumbs up.  With celebrities you never know who is going to be naughty and who is going to be nice.  I wrote the cover story on Mary J. Blige for Hamptons Magazine and she was out for the party they threw her at Pink Elephant.  When I met her she couldn’t have been warmer or more open and it was worth it just to see her bear hug editor in chief Cindi Cook.  I can see how her positive outlook which she credits with turning her life around is infectious as she was groovin’ away.  The trick with this club which gets a real scene happening on weekends is to go early and catch a cocktail and a couch in the cabana area to watch the fillies walk by.  And dudes, we gals go to great lengths to try to look fabulous and fashionable, let’s see you put in a little effort too.

Speaking of fashion, you ladies have to check out the new store Life Style on Main Street in Sag Harbor where it meets

I had the chance to eat at Wild Thyme on North Sea Road in Southampton and it deserves the great review it got in the New York Times.  The food is fresh, original, and tasty without being rich.  Be sure to check out the mushroom ravioli.  I was there as part of a new networking group the Hamptons Women’s Co-op which had a bevy of savy interesting business women.

Be sure to get your tickets to the Love Heals at Luna Farm event in Sagaponack on Saturday June 23.  Benefitting the Alison Gertz Foundation for AIDS Education, this night draws the best of the young sophisticated social set and is a great meet and mingle opportunity.  There’ll be cocktails, BBQ, dancing, and an incredible silent auction thanks to the committee and co-founder Stefani Greenfield who owns Scoop.  You can get more info at www.loveheals.org and call Harrison & Shriftman for tickets 917-351-8670.

–>

While I actually am going to be heading off for the Cannes Film Festival in France I wanted to note a few of my favorite things to do this Memorial Day weekend in the Hamptons.  Be sure to check out The Big Show at the Silas Marder Gallery in Bridgehampton (at the back of Marder’s Nursery).  Artists both local and from all over the world have each created three 8×10 canvases and there’s a great eclectic mix.  It’s also a great opportunity to buy original art at a reasonable price point.  For live music Nancy Atlas has her live CD release party on Thursday May 26 at Stephen Talkhouse in Amagansett.  If you miss that she’ll also be playing Saturday the 28th the late show — a rockin’ good time.  For foodies the fabulous Round Swamp Farm is now open on Three Mile Harbor Road with not only fresh produce but prepared foods as well as the most delicious home made blueberry muffins.  I also just had a fabulous dinner at Red Bar in Southampton — try the linguine and clam sauce which is divine.  Its sister restaurant The Beacon on the water in Sag Harbor will also be opening and has a great sunset view.  Now the weather can be fickle on Memorial Day but if you can’t get a tan at the beach the spray on tan at Ananas Spa in Southampton is a pale girl’s best friend.  If you’re in the mood to garden go to Wittendales in East Hampton and ask for their spreading petunias.  These will bloom all summer with not too much maintenance and spread beautifully out of a clay pot or barrell.

Okay enjoy and be sure to check back for the 411 on all Hamptons Happenings. –>

As a newspaper columnist, online writer, TV reporter, and podcaster I’m used to putting it all out there for the world to see, hear, and watch.  What I miss, however, is spontaneous feedback.  I’m not there to see if an audience laughs, cries, or notices that my hanky panky is showing.  Hence the excitement about blogging.  It’s like happy hour but without the alcohol (well at least you can’t see my glass of Chardonnay) — a place to swap stories, share opinions, and respond to one another.  My only objection is to the terminology.  There’s a reason that we love “seduction” and “whisper” and “philosophy.”  Think about it, “diplomacy” even sounds so much better than “fight.”  But when I hear “blogging” I think about men in flannel shirts having an axe throwing contest which although sexy in its own way isn’t really true to the nature of the social networking tool, unless they’re all online chatting about chewing tobacco. 

Through blogging we are sharing and confessing — maybe we could call it shessing.  Sounds like something you’d do down a ski slope.  In any case for a girl who spends all day inside her own head I’m thrilled for the opportunity to hear what someone else has to say.  Stay tuned for the love, sex, and relationship (not necessarily in that order) topic of the week.  Cheers! –>